you're gonna drive me crazy, you're gonna drive me mad
by NotSorry
Summary: Everything changes the summer before Adam's senior year when Michael Milton, his neighbour, comes back from college and Adam sorta falls in love with him. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Supernatural fic, and written purely because I was in the mood for Midam and I've read basically everying. I'm always nervous entering a new fandom, and I seriously doubt my characterisation, but I love this pairing enough to take the risk. This monster took me eleven hours, and it is just past midnight, so if you see a gap in my proofreading, please let me know.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**

* * *

Adam Milligan was fourteen years old when he first mer Michael Milton, a nineteen year old boy who had moved with his large family into the long-empty house next door to the Milligan-Winchester household. Kate and John, Adam's mother and stepfather, had always insisted upon being friendly with the neighbours, so it was two weeks after the Milton's had moved in that they were invited over for dinner with Adam, his half-brothers Sam and Dean and their parents.

The Milton family consisted of Chuck and Becky, and their sons Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Castiel, and their daughter Anna. Michael and Lucifer were twins, Michael being born ten minutes before his brother, followed just over a year later by Gabriel, then another year later by the next set of twins, Castiel and Anna. They had moved to the neighbourhood because of a promotion Chuck received within his company, and had dragged his unwilling children with them.

Dean was seventeen when the Milton's moved in, and had become fast friends with Anna and Castiel, who were his age. Sam was only sixteen, and when Gabriel offered to tutor him in the only subject the older boy was good at, History, the two hit it off and within a year they were dating. A few months later Dean and Cas announced their own relationship, and the two families became close.

By the time Adam was fifteen, Michael and Lucifer were away at college, with Gabriel opting to stay at home and mooch off his parents until they were sick of him. Dean and Cas, along with Anna, were debating what they should do after they left school. Eventually, it was decided that Cas and Anna would go to the local community college and Dean would work with Uncle Bobby at his auto shop. Everyone, except maybe John, seemed happy with that arrangement, because it meant Dean could go up and visit every weekend, or the twins could come down and visit themselves.

Adam, though on comfortable, friendly terms with all the Miltons (even Lucifer), wasn't as close to them as his brothers were. He was the quiet one, choosing to stay in his room when they were over or going to a friend's house. Nobody seemed to care, except maybe Sam and Gabriel who were always trying to get him to do things with him, but he knew better and didn't exactly enjoy being a third wheel, so he stuck to his own group of friends and focused on school and his dream to be a doctor.

* * *

Everything changed when everyone came back home for summer the year before Adam's senior year.

It started with a big Milligan/Winchester-Milton family dinner to celebrate the return of Michael, Lucifer, Castiel, Anna, Sam and Gabriel, who had left the year before to share an apartment while Sam went to Stanford. Adam was happy to see them back, and greeted them all with smiles and hugs (except for Lucifer, who didn't _do_ physical contact), but was not exactly looking forward to the dinner. He'd have to sit quietly and listen to the older people talk about college and their lives and what they had planned and try not to be bored out of his mind.

However, he sat through the meal without complaint, listened to the stories (some of them were interesting, he supposed) and when it was over he politely excused himself (not that anyone was paying attention) and hid in the second lounge room that was used only for video games.

After five minutes of killing zombies in peace, he felt a presence behind him. He paused the video game and turned around to see Michael standing there with a small smile on his face. The serious twenty-two year old had his hands in his pockets and was trying to look casual.

They didn't say anything for a while, just observed each other. Adam had to admit he quite liked the oldest Milton to his brothers and sister, purely because he was easiest to talk to and less likely to judge. He noticed how different Michael looked these days, his skin more tanned, and his features sharper. Or maybe Adam had never cared to pay attention to his appearance closely before.

"Hey," he said, breaking the somewhat awkward silence. "Shouldn't you be in the other room impressing everyone with your amazing test scores or something?"

Michael laughed. "Uh, right. They're a bit preoccupied because Cas let it slip that he and Dean were considering getting married. Looks like we're going to be actually related soon."

Adam's eyebrows shot up. "_Damn_. Should have been there to see their faces. So, what's up?"

"I just came to talk to you. Still a quiet one, I see. How's school?"

"It's good." He shrugged. "Can't complain. I only have one more year left, then I can leave and no longer be the baby."

"You'll always be the baby," Michael said with a grin. It was true. He sat down on a beanbag like the one Adam was on. "What are you planning after you graduate?"

"Medicine," he instantly admitted, and was surprised at himself. The only person he had told his plan to was his mother. "I want to be a doctor."

"That's great. I think you'd make a great doctor."

Adam laughed. "Yeah, thanks. So, how's life been? I mean, other than the stories you've already told everyone."

Michael looked thoughtful. "There's not much happening for me. Mainly I've just been studying and occasionally going out for drinks with Luci and his friends."

"Any lucky lady in your life?" Adam asked with a cheeky grin. "A handsome guy like you must have girls throwing themselves at you."

To his surprise, Michael blushed. He knew the guy was serious, and not entirely comfortable talking about women in anything less than a respectful manner, but it was surprising to see him looking embarrassed. "There have been a couple of dates, I suppose, and Lucifer_ insisted_ I have a few 'drunken hookups' because 'that's what college is all about.'" He rolled his eyes, but didn't meet Adam's. "But other than that, no. There's really no-one in my life at the moment. I haven't felt a spark yet. What about you?"

Adam bit his lip. For "I dated a girl for a couple of months last year, but that got old, fast."

"Ah. I see." Michael nodded at the paused video game. "Of course. Do you want another player?"

* * *

The summer holidays started, and suddenly Adam found himself in the company of Michael a whole lot more than usual. He didn't have anyone else to hang out with over the break- all of his close friends were travelling with their families- so while Dean, Cas, Anna, Gabriel and Sam were out doing whatever it is they did, and while Lucifer was out drinking and hooking up, he found himself in the second lounge room with Michael every other day, playing video games and sometimes just talking. He found the older boy's presence comfortable, and the conversation was easy.

It wasn't until Dean brought it up that he realised just how much time they'd been spending together.

He was watching a movie with Dean, Cas and Anna (that none of them were really paying much attention to) when his older brother said, "So, Adam. You and Michael are pretty close these days, huh?"

Adam looked up from where he had been Facebook-ing on his phone and gave Dean a confused look. "Uh..."

"You and my brother have been spending much time together in the last two weeks," Castiel said, looking at the young Milligan with his trademark quizzical look. "I did not know you were such good friends."

Adam shrugged. "Yeah, well, neither of us have anything else to do. I mean, I'm constantly telling him he should be out partying with Lucifer, but you know him. All proper."

"So what, he'd rather spend time with a seventeen year old kid?" Dean scoffed. "Dude has issues."

"Dean, be nice," Anna scolded. "Adam's very mature for his age."

"I'm right here, you know," Adam growled, annoyed at being treated like a child. He got up and walked out of the room, out of the house and into the street. He stood on the driveway for a moment before shaking his head at his own stupidity. He shouldn't have gotten that angry, because he knew they didn't mean any harm. They were just curious. Why did it bother him so much that they were questioning his growing friendship with the older guy?

Okay, maybe he knew, but he wasn't about to admit that to anyone.

He didn't want anyone to know how his eyes spent a bit too much time lingering on Michael's face, or how he sometimes felt a bit giddy when he sent one of those charming smiles his way. It was just attraction, and he could deal with it. It was a stupid, stupid crush on an older man (_only five years difference_, a traitor part of his mind whispered) and it didn't mean anything.

Briefly he had considered avoiding Michael until he went back to college, but he liked the older boy's company too much. Michael seemed to understand how he felt not having a friendship like their siblings had with each other, and seemed to understand that he sometimes felt left out because he was the youngest, and only a half-brother to the Winchesters. Dean never snuck him alcohol like he had done with Sam, or went out of his way to protect him like he did with his full-brother. He was close with them, and had been since they had moved in with each other when he was four, but it just wasn't the same.

He told Michael all of that, and more, because he felt like Michael wouldn't laugh at him or judge him. In return, Michael told him about how close he used to be with Lucifer until his brother had started drinking and taking drugs and his whole personality had turned around. Adam knew it was hard for Michael to talk about that, and was secretly glad he had chosen him to share it with. He didn't let himself think it meant anything.

* * *

"Adam,"

The boy in question looked up from his book at Michael, who was standing in the doorway to Adam's bedroom and looking conflicted.

"Hey," Adam said, sitting up from his position lying on his bed and closing the book. "What's up?"

The older man coughed uncomfortably. "I was talking to Lucifer."

"That's never a good thing."

"And he said something that got me thinking."

"Speak in full sentences, man. None of this choppy shit. What's up?"

Michael looked at Adam and grimaced. "Is the amount of time we spend together inappropriate? He made it sound like I was... Out to steal your innocence."

Adam's jaw dropped and he stared at the dark haired man for a few moments, taking in how serious he was, before bursting into laughter.

Michael could on watch on hopelessly as his friend laughed himself to tears for nearly five minutes. Eventually, Adam calmed down and wiped his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and thought about puppies with cancer and kittens being run over to stop himself giggling.

"Oh boy, that's a good one."

He looked at Michael and noticed how uncomfortable he still looked. The poor guy was honestly upset. "Michael, don't worry. Lucifer's just trying to mess with you."

"Are you sure? I don't make you uncomfortable?"

Adam rolled his eyes and gestured for him to take a seat on his bed. "Michael, as long as you're not trying to get into my pants, there's nothing wrong with being friends with me. I'm seventeen, not a kid."

Adam thought he saw a flash on embarrassment on the older guy's face, but that might have been in imagination.

"You're a bit of a kid," Michael said.

"I've been told I'm mature for my age."

Michael shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. "I suppose."

They sat in silence for a several long moments, and Adam sensed a new sort of tension in the air that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"Come on," Michael said eventually, standing up. "Our parents are going out to dinner and Gabriel mentioned that he thinks you're old enough for him to be illegally supplying alcohol to."

Adam scoffed. "I have my own ways to get it."

Michael grinned and offered a hand to help him up. "I bet you do."

And if their hands were clasped a second too long, that was nobody's business but theirs.

* * *

Gabriel, contrary to popular belief, was a genius (if he did say so himself). He was smart, observant, and good at reading people.

Therefore, he thought it his duty to get Michael and Adam to realise how hot they were for each other.

Sure, he knew it wasn't an ideal situation for them- Michael was away studying law and Adam still had a year of high school to go and there was a five-year difference (not the mention the fact that neither of them were openly gay or bisexual) but he was always pretty sure they'd both be a lot happier if they banged away all the tension that had been growing between them lately.

It had been hard to notice at first, and a part of Gabriel was sure it was just his imagination. But as the weeks went on, the lingering glances, the staring when they were sure the other wasn't looking, and the small smiles whenever the other did anything that was so utterly _them_, it became clear that they were both holding a bit of a flame for the other.

He wasn't the only one who noticed- Lucifer mentioned it to him, and seemed entirely baffled as to why Michael would be attracted to a boy like Adam, who cursed and was crass- the opposite of their brother. Gabriel knew Dean had an inkling, because the mechanic had shared his fears with Castiel, who had let it slip to Anna, and of course Sam knew because of Gabriel.

When Michael and Adam came downstairs after Michael had been sent to fetch him, everyone was discreetly trying to assess their body language and trying to figure out if their now-shared theory was right.

* * *

Two hours later, Adam was getting a bit too tipsy for his liking, because he _knew_ he couldn't really control his mouth when he was drunk, so he slipped away from the group when nobody was looking and, wonkily, made his way to his bedroom. He fell face first into his pillow and tried not to think about how _cute_ Michael was when he was drunk and laughing more freely and putting a little less thought into his words. It was nice, because he was usually so serious, to see him interact with people like that. Adam had had a hard time keeping his eyes off the older man, and he was sure it was starting to get obvious.

Oh God, what if Dean found out?

Adam groaned, and heard a chuckle from his doorway. He sat up quickly. "Shit!" he exclaimed in surprise at the newcomer. "Don't sneak up on a guy!"

Gabriel grinned at him and invited himself into his room. The shorter guy pulled out his desk chair and sighed dramatically. He rested his chin in his hands.

"Adam, we need to talk about your problem."

The blonde raised his eyebrows. "I have a problem? Other than you thinking you can invite yourself into my room?"

Gabriel sent him an evil smirk that Adam had learned to fear. "Michael."

Adam's heart stopped and his incredulous face froze. If Gabriel knew, then he wouldn't be surprised if _everyone_ knew. He took a few breaths and tried to calm down, and put on an expression of confusion.

"Your brother, yes?"

"I _know_."

"I'm not sure I'm following, Gabriel."

Gabriel laughed. "I know about your _adorable _crush on my oldest brother."

Adam forced himself not to start begging the older boy not to tell anyone. Instead, he let out a laugh. "Ha, right. I think you've had a bit too much to drink, man."

"I haven't. And I can tell by your body language I'm right."

"You're insane. I'm not even gay."

Gabriel shrugged. "Neither am I, but that didn't stop me groping your brother in the back of his car this afternoon. I'm Sam-sexual."

Adam grimaced. "I did NOT need to know that. Just... Gross, dude."

Gabriel waved a hand dismissively. "But that's not why I'm here. I just want you to be happy."

Adam glared and wished his head wasn't so fuzzy. With significant effort, he managed to say somewhat convincingly, "Even if you're stupid theory was right, there would be absolutely no way Michael and I could ever be a thing. He's straight, I'm straight, he's _twenty-two _and I'm _seventeen_. He's away at college most of the year."

"So what? You obviously want him. You should let yourself be happy. Ever heard of a summer fling?"

"You're insane," Adam repeated. "Please let me go to sleep."

Gabriel stood up. "Fine, fine, be miserable. Oh, but I wouldn't sleep just yet. I heard Michael muttering before I snuck away that he should check on you to make sure you're not puking or something." He sent Adam a wink and left, not before cackling evilly.

Adam shouted a few choice words at his back.

* * *

When Michael arrived in Adam's doorway, the younger boy was faking sleep. He expected Michael to see him and leave, but instead, he heard him walk further into the room, stumbling a bit, by the sound of it, and sit on the end of the bed beside Adam's feet. The blonde was grateful the older man was drunk, or he probably would have noticed how his breath hitched, or his body tensed.

He felt a warm hand on his leg, and bit his lip to stop himself from gasping.

Michael just sat there for a bit, his hand on Adam's leg, with his thumb carefully rubbing circles on his skin. Adam wanted to move, to let him know he was awake, to grab him and kiss him, but he couldn't. This was just a crush. Michael didn't feel the same way. He was just a kid in his eyes.

But then Michael's hand moved and rested on his arm, giving it a firm squeeze.

"Fuck, Adam," Michael breathed out raggedly, apparently forgetting his reservations on cursing. "What are you doing to me?"

Then he removed his hand and stood up. After several moments, he walked out of the room, and Adam waited a few seconds before swearing into his pillow and hoping sleep would come soon.

* * *

The next morning Michael woke up with a hangover and a sense of dread in his stomach. He only had a few fuzzy memories of what happened last night after his third drink.

When he stumbled into the kitchen (thankfully, his parents were at work so they wouldn't be able to tut at him disapprovingly) and poured himself a coffee. He wasn't a big drinker, and usually only did it when Lucifer insisted, so he was still not used to the feeling of waking up feeling like elephants were dancing in his head.

As if on cue, Gabriel burst into the room singing loudly, followed by Sam, who rolling his eyes. Thw Winchester was shirtless, but Michael knew better than to comment.

Instead he glared at his brother. "Gabriel, seeing as you are the one who insisted I drink last night, could you_ please_ be quiet while I'm hungover?"

Gabriel laughed at him and grabbed some cereal. "What do you remember, Mikey?"

Michael closed his eyes to block out the light. "Don't call me that. And why, did anything happen last night? Did Dean drunkenly propose to Castiel?"

Sam snorted. "Uh, no. But now you mention it, that's probably how it's going to go down. They're planning on getting hitched sometime soon, and I can't see Dean being sober when he finally pops the question."

Gabriel nodded. "You're probably right, Samsquatch. Anyway, _Mikey_, you don't actually remember anything?" There was that familiar mischievous glint in his eye.

Michael felt the feeling of dread grow. _Oh no_. "Not after a few drinks. Last I remember, we were all sitting and talking and drinking. Then Dean and Cas when up to Dean's room."

Sam and Gabriel shared a look. Michael grimaced. "What happened?"

The Winchester coughed. "Uh, we don't exactly know. You went up to check on Adam after he left, then came back down ten minutes later looking totally upset. We thought you got into a fight or something."

Michael put his head in his hands and groaned. Sam patted his back awkwardly. "Uh, you okay?"

"No," Michael said. "Because I have absolutely no _idea _what happened."

Gabriel took a sip of the coffee he had been making and, nonchalantly, "Maybe you guys made out but he fell asleep in the middle. That would bum me out."

Michael looked up at him and tried to splutter out an answer for a few moments before sticking with glaring at his brother and standing up.

"Well, I should go see him, shouldn't I? Just to check."

Sam gave him a searching look. "I'm sure it was nothing, but, uh good luck."

On his way out, Michael ran into Lucifer in the lounge room.

"Hi," his twin said with a knowing grin. "In a rush?"

Michael knew that tone of voice, and stopped dead. "What do you know?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Lucifer just gave an exaggerated shrug. "Nothing, brother."

He considered pushing for information, but he knew Lucifer wouldn't tell him anything of use.

As he was walking out the door, he heard, "Say hi to Adam for me!"

* * *

Adam had the house to himself. He woke up at ten, realised his parents were at work, and Dean and Sam were probably over with their respective Miltons.

He was glad. He needed time to think- think about Michael and what had happened last night. Not that anything had actually _happened_, but at the same time it sort of had. Michael had sounded so... sad... when he had thought Adam was sleeping. What did it mean? Did he know Adam was attracted to him and he had to end their friendship? Did it mean...

Just as his thoughts were about to go where they really shouldn't, Adam heard the front door open and close. He put his head in his hands and waited for one of his half-brothers to walk in and probably be loud and annoying like they always were when they could tell he wanted quiet.

However, it wasn't Sam or Dean's voice he heard.

"Hello, Adam."

Adam looked up at Michael. He didn't know what to say, so he settled for just staring until the other man spoke. As he stared, openly and unabashedly, he took in the older man's features. He might as well, because Michael may never speak to him again.

He took in the tanned skin, the deep, brown eyes that could be so expressive and sometimes give nothing away. He took in the tousled dark hair, and the rings under his eyes, that indicated he was probably hungover. He took in the way his dark blue t-shirt fit his lean frame perfectly. He took in his posture, hands in pockets. Nervous.

"Adam, I..." Michael looked at loss for words. "My brothers said something happened last night. I don't remember."

Adam looked down. "It was nothing. I was faking sleep because I wasn't feeling well. You came into my room, sat there for a while, and left."

Michael nodded and they were silent for a while. Eventually, he pulled out the chair beside Adam and sat down. "Apparently I looked sad."

Adam looked up.

"When I left, I mean," Michael clarified.

Adam bit his lip. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. His heart was beating so hard in his chest he wouldn't be surprised if the dark haired man could hear it. His hands were shaking in his lap, and he was resisting the urge to run and hide.

They sat like that for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes. Just sitting there lost in their owns thoughts and fears about each other, not knowing what the other was thinking.

"Michael..." Adam started, and suddenly he was looking into Michael's eyes, and he realised just how close they were to each other. It would be so easy just to lean in and kiss him, consequences be damned because right now he was certain he wasn't just attracted to him, but completely infatuated, halfway in love with him, and there was nothing he wanted more this very moment than to kiss Michael Milton.

"Wait," Michael said, like he was reading Adam's mind. "Do you... want to go for a drive with me?"

"Okay."

Adam went upstairs to get dressed out of his pyjamas, hands still shaking, and when he came down Michael was still there. A part of Adam had expected him to be gone, to change his mind about spending time with him. A wave of relief washed over him.

"Come on," Michael said with a small smile that made Adam's heart flutter. "Let's go."

* * *

Anna and Lucifer watched out the window of their father's study as Michael and Adam made their way to Michael's car. Lucifer rolled his eyes when Michael opened the door for Adam, and Anna let out a soft sigh.

"I feel so sad for them," she admitted.

"Don't ever feel sad for anyone. Feeling sad is for the weak."

"Shut up, we all know you secretly have the emotional state of a teenage girl, " she said. "I just... I hate how much they obviously care about each other, and... And no matter what Gabriel says, that it's gonna end badly."

"Of course it is. But let ol' Mikey have his fun."

"I hardly think this denial is fun for either of them."

Lucifer crossed his arms and snorted. "Their own fault they're idiots. They just need to fuck and get over it. I mean, come _on_."

"Well, Adam is five years younger than him," the redhead pointed out. "It's gonna cause problems."

"Who cares?" Lucifer asked. "Come on, daddy dearest will kill us if he finds out we've been in his 'writing space.'"

* * *

They drove for two hours in silence until Adam couldn't stand it anymore.

"Pull over," he said. They were driving past a small park in the middle of suburbia that looked fairly deserted. "Here."

"Sure," Michael pulled over and turned off the car. He undid his seatbelt and turned toward Adam. "We need to talk, don't we?"

"Yeah."

"This is... complicated. At least it is for me," Michael admitted. "It's new to me. And confusing."

"What is?" Adam dared to ask. It came out more quietly than he had meant. He undid his own seatbelt. "Come on, let's go. Those swings look fun."

Michael looked bemused, but followed the blonde out of the car and into the park. He perched himself on one of the swings. "I think you know what," he said as Adam started moving his legs. "What's confusing."

"I'd rather hear you say it out loud."

Michael sighed, but smiled slightly. "You never make it easy, do you?"

"Not really."

"I'm confused about how I feel about you. You're so young, and a male, and it's inappropriate, but I can't help but feel things for you that are more than friendship. I want to always be around you, to comfort you and to look after you. I'm attracted to you both physically and emotionally, and I have never felt this way for someone before."

Adam stopped moving his legs and let himself stop swinging. "It's not really inappropriate," he said. "I'm going to be eighteen in a few months. I'll be an adult. But I get it."

Michael watched him bite his lip and avoid his eye. "Adam..."

"I feel the same way," the blonde say abruptly. "So much. You have no idea how distracting you are."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"I think you know what I want to do, Michael. I think you should work out what you want. It's your reputation that would be at stake it got out that you were with a high-schooler."

Michael was silent. What Adam had said was true, but at the moment, he felt as though he didn't really care. He looked at Adam, at this unexpected boy who had wormed his way into his heart, and grinned. Because it finally hit him that Adam felt the same way, and happiness and contentedness were so close he could touch them.

He got off the swing and stood in front of Adam. He grabbed the boy's hands and pulled him close, winding his arms around his waist, savouring the warmth of the other body pressed to his. He ran his hands down Adam's arms and watched in satisfaction as goosebumps erupted where he had touched. He brought a hand up to cup Adam's cheek and let his thumb lightly stroke his sunkissed skin. They both shivered and pressed closer to each other.

Michael's face was mere inches away from Adam. The blonde carefully placed his hands on Michael's hips and leaned forward to very gentle brush their lips together.

It was barely a touch, a teasing second of contact. Michael gasped and their breath intermingled, and then leaned forward to press their lips together more firmly. His whole body was on fire as his hands moved to wrap around Adam's waist again, pulling the younger man impossibly close to him. Their mouths moved against each other softly at first, experimentally, before Adam opened his and brush his tongue against the seam of Michael's lip. They both moaned as Michael opened his mouth in response and let Adam's tongue in. The kisses became more heated and urgent, weeks of sexual tension being released in a few minutes.

Eventually, they had to surface for air, but they didn't move from their position. They both had silly grins on their faces as they breathed heavily. Adam pressed his face into Michael's shirt, inhaling the scent of coffee, books, and something else that could only be described as _Michael_.

"There's three more weeks until you have to go back," Adam said quietly. He could hear Michael's heart beat in his chest, going just as fast as his. "And I don't want to spend them without you just because we won't see eachother for a bit. I want to make this work, Michael. You have no idea."

"I think I do," Michael said with a smile, pressing a kiss to Adam's hair. "I want to spend it with you, too. We'll deal with school when the time comes, okay? For now, I just want to be with you."

"Good, because I want to be with you, too."


	2. Chapter 2

**So I continued this because... because I just really like this pairing. Feel free to review or something. This is also posted on AO3 (my username is ThatGirlTheyKnow). While I am still totally hesitant about writing for this fandom, I still love it. It's self-indulgence, really.**

**Also: nothing's mine. **

* * *

Michael and Adam returned to Michael's house later that day acting as though everything was normal. They didn't hold hands, they didn't touch, or show any signs of affection that indicated the decision they had made in the playground. Their siblings were there when they arrived, watching "Friends" reruns and trying to act natural, but Michael noticed the glances they snuck at the two out of the corner of their eyes. He noticed the confused look on Gabriel's face, the slightly sad one of Anna's, and he knew their plan had worked- they all thought that Michael and Adam decided to just stay friends.

"Hey guys," Adam said casually, plopping down on the couch next to Anna. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing," Lucifer drawled. "You and Michael were out a while. What were you doing?"

Adam shrugged, trying to stop himself from smirking. "Oh, we thought we'd catch a movie while we were out." If by "catch a movie" he meant "make out in the backseat of Michael's car", then he was pretty sure it wasn't too much of a lie. Sort of.

"Odd," Castiel said. "Your hair looks quite messy. Did you fall over while you were out?"

The whole room stared at the oblivious man, and Adam choked on air. "Uh, a bird. A bird pooped in my hair."

Michael sniggered as he took a seat on the other couch next to Cas, who nodded seriously.

"I see."

Lucifer looked like he was trying to resist the urge to make a comment, and he and Gabriel shared a look. Maybe something _did_ happen, because Adam's face was tinged pink and Michael looked to be in an unusually happy mood.

He couldn't be sure, though. When Michael wanted, he could keep his emotions a mystery, and was a fair decent liar. He wasn't quite as sure about Adam, but the boy seemed capable of keep secrets when he wanted to. It didn't make sense _why_ they were keeping it such a secret- to their siblings, at least. Lucifer understood why they would keep a relationship between them from their parents, seeing as it was highly unlikely they'd approve due to the age gap. But the eight of them had been friends for over three years, and surely they could be trusted.

* * *

Adam and Michael came to the decision to keep their relationship a secret purely to avoid any drama.

They would continue to hang out like they had been doing all summer, but it would just involve a bit more _physical_ interaction. It wasn't a big deal, but they knew their families would make it one, so they just... weren't going to tell them.

But, it was hard. The first time they wanted to be alone together, they casually mentioned they were going to rent some DVDs and Dean, being the annoying idiot he was, dropped the controllers of the game he was playing, grabbed Cas' hand (Cas had been _trying _to play, but he just didn't understand the appeal) and announced that they were coming too, because Cas had never seen Lord of the Rings and that needed to be changed.

Then, three days into their secret affair, they were alone in the Milton's kitchen grabbing snacks for a movie they were watching with Gabriel and Anna, and barely jumped apart from the heated kiss when they were interrupted by Lucifer, who chose that moment to display his uncanny ninja skills and not make any noise as he approached the kitchen. If they'd not heard him at the last second, everything would be out of the bag.

It was like they couldn't catch a break. All week, the most they could do was have a quick makeout session in Adam's room while everyone was out of the house (a rare occurrence) and a few chaste kisses when someone was out of the room. It was like God didn't want them to get any action, and Adam was sick of it.

"Michael," he said to the older man over the phone. They'd be talking in person, but these days it was just too risky that Gabriel was listening on the other side of the door. "Let's go on a date."

"Okay," came the reply. "What will we tell people?"

"Nothing," Adam said firmly. "We'll just leave our houses a few minutes apart and meet somewhere and go on a proper date."

He could almost hear Michael's smile through the phone. "Sounds like a plan."

On Saturday evening, Adam grabbed his keys and wallet and made his way to the front door. Unfortunately, to get to the front door, you had to pass the lounge room, and it just so happened John and Dean were watching a game at the same time Adam tried to make his escape. He tried to be casual as he walked past, but John muted the TV and raised an eyebrow.

"And where do you think you're going, young man?"

Adam shrugged. "Out to see some friends."

"Without prior notice? Your mother's cooking dinner."

"Yeah..." Adam grimaced. "But I haven't seen them all holiday. Besides, I never needed to ask permission before."

John and Dean stared at him suspiciously.

"Are you seeing someone? A girl... or a boy," added his father as an afterthought, nodding at Dean as though to show that seeing as two of his sons were dating men, all three of them liking guys would not be such a big deal.

Adam's mouth dropped open. John wasn't one to talk about things like this- he preferred to let his children have their own lives and never pried. He let them tell him things at their own pace.

"Uh, no," Adam replied, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. "I promise I'm just going to see some friends."

After several long moments of them staring at him, John nodded.

"Fine. Be back at an acceptable hour."

Adam promised to be home by ten and practically ran out of the house.

* * *

They met at a small restaurant on the other side of town.

For the most part, the date went perfectly. Michael pulled out his chair with a grin that made Adam want to melt, they ordered their food and spent most of the time discussing their plans for the next year. The fact that they would not be able to spend the next year _together_ was left unspoken, and for now, they were happy to ignore it. They had still only been together a week, and thoughts of commitment like that were scary for both of them.

When the conversation steered towards their families, Michael suddenly fell quiet. Adam stopped in the middle of his story about a prank he and Sam had once played on Dean and frowned at the worried expression on the dark haired man's face. It was nervous and uncertain, and he wanted to kiss it away until his boyfriend was happy.

"Mike? What's wrong?"

Michael looked up and gave him a small, slightly forced smile. "You know I hate that nickname. And... I'm worried about how our families will react. John and Kate will disapprove, as will your brothers, and I can't see my own parents being overly happy that I'm with someone five years younger than me."

Adam felt his stomach drop. Oh. "I get it, but I don't care what they think. I'm going to be eighteen soon, and I'll be able to do whatever I want, and date whoever I want. They're not gonna like that you're older than me, but they do know you, and they do trust you. It's better than me dating a complete stranger. Besides, we can keep it a secret."

Michael sighed and reached across the table to grab Adam's hand. He smiled at the boy. "That is true. But if this, uh, goes on, I don't want to keep it a secret. I don't like lying to my family, and if this does become more serious, I want to be able to tell them."

Adam nodded; he felt the same way. But... "We don't know if this is going to work, Michael. We want to it, but it's going to be difficult. But we'll see, okay?"

* * *

When they finished their meal, they made their way in Adam's car to the park, which was of course empty at night time. When they pulled over, Adam grabbed Michael and dragged them both into the back seat, where he quickly set out to give him a hickey. Michael moaned and lay back, letting the blonde straddle him.

"Ah, Adam!" he gasped. "People are going to see that."

Adam grinned against his neck and placed another kiss there. "Good." He leaned up to capture Michael's lips with his own and moaned. "We have not done this nearly enough," he murmured, angling his head so he could deepen the kiss. "We need more time alone."

"Agreed."

They were in the car for hours, enjoying the intimacy and the other's company, when Adam caught a glance of his watch and swore.

"Dammit, I'm supposed to be at home by ten."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "What time is it now?"

"Nearly eleven."

"Huh. Time really does fly when you're having fun."

Adam rolled his eyes and sat up. "As much as I want to stay here forever, I really need to get home before John kills me."

Michael nodded and they climbed back into the front. "Curfews," he said with a small smile. "Don't miss those."

"Oh yeah, like you went out to secretly make out with older men while you were seventeen."

The dark haired man laughed. "Uh, no, but Lucifer did drag me all around the place. And I had a few girlfriends. You make it sound like I'm virginal."

Adam blushed. "I know you're not, sorry, but you just seem like the type to keep to them, ya know?"

"I did, but that didn't mean I had to like it."

"Wow, you had a secret rebellious side, who knew?"

Michael grinned at him. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Adam."

"And I just can't wait to find out."

* * *

"You're late," Dean said when Adam walked through the door at eleven thirty. He and Sam were watching an old tacky horror film. "An hour and a half past curfew. Mum and Dad told me to shout at you because they wanted to go to bed. Care to explain? It seems like a bit much for someone who was just going to see his _friends_. "

"As if you never stayed out past curfew, Dean," Sam said. "Hypocrite."

"Yeah, but that was always when I was with a _girl_," Dean grinned evilly at Adam. "Were you with a girl, Adam? Or..."

"I was with friends, okay?!" Adam snapped, glaring at his oldest brother. "Just leave me alone, okay?"

He rushed past them but just as he reached the foot of the stairs he heard Dean call out, "Then who gave you that hickey?"

He paled and a hand went to his neck. "Shit," he whispered.

He turned back to his half-brothers, who were staring at him expectantly, trying to keep the amusement off their faces. Well, Sam was trying, at least.

"Tell anyone, and I will kill you. Not Gabe, not Cas, no-one, you hear me?"

They nodded.

"Uh," Sam said. "If you don't mind me asking, was it...?"

"No." Adam cut him off. "Don't even think about asking that, man."

He ran up the stairs, and Dean let out a low whistle. "You think I'm going to have to break Michael's face?"

* * *

Anna and Gabriel were eating cereal the next morning in their kitchen, in deep conversation over how Sam had been working out. Gabriel loved showing off his hot boyfriend, and it's not like Anna was complaining about seeing a picture Gabriel had taken while Sam was using their pool the other day.

Their school-girl-like giggling was interrupted was Michael walked in shirtless, sporting a very obvious bruise on his neck.

Their brother was smiling sleepily to himself as he poured a coffee. Anna and Gabriel raised their eyebrows at him when he turned to say good morning.

"What?" he asked, frowning. "Is there something on my face?"

"Oh _nooooo_," Gabriel drawled. "But there is something-"

"Where did you get that hickey?" Anna cut in, knowing Gabriel would prolong the situation. "You said you were out with some friends who were passing through."

Michael froze, and the confused expression on his face was comical. He stared at them for a few moments before realisation and terror dawned on his face and jogged into the hall to check in the mirror there.

"Shit," he hissed. Gabriel let out a laugh as he came in and glared at them. "It's nothing. It's not a hickey. I... fell over."

"And hit your neck? At that angle?" Anna smirked. "Come on, you can tell us who it was, we promise we won't tell anyone."

"I don't promise that," Gabriel said. "Besides, we already know who it is," he gave Michael a wink. "Don't we, Mikey?"

"You know an imaginary person who doesn't exist? Good for you, Gabriel." Michael finished his coffee in a large gulp and placed down his mug. "Now, I'm going to leave before you two come up with any more ridiculous theories." He shook his head as though dealing with children and stalked out of the room.

Gabriel was grinning like it was Christmas day. He turned to his sister. "I bet you a hundred bucks it was Adam."

Anna shook her head. "I'm not making any bets with you, Gabriel. Besides, he might have met a girl? Might have let loose a bit?"

"But well all know he's into Adam. He _has_ to be. It's obvious."

"But maybe he's trying to get over that?" Anna pointed out. "If they were together, don't you think we would know by now? I mean, they haven't been too obvious lately, have they?"

Gabriel looked put out. "They stare at each other."

Anna rolled her eyes. "Well, we'll just wait and see, won't we?"

"I don't think I'm that patient."

"Of course you aren't. But you can't force this out of them."

* * *

After Michael left the kitchen he went back to his bedroom to put on proper clothes for the day, before deciding he really didn't want to go out, so he just pulled on a plain t-shirt to go with his sweatpants and fell backwards onto his bed.

He thought about his new relationship with Adam- with another man. Who was younger than him. His reservations weren't against homosexuality, not really. He'd just never thought of himself as gay, and still didn't. He was just attracted to Adam.

But he felt guilty when he remembered Adam was still seventeen, and he twenty-two, and despite what Adam said, it was still wrong. Not terribly wrong, but it was still inappropriate and if it got out, people would talk. He closed his eyes and thought of Mrs Elliott across the street tutting disapprovingly and gossiping with her elderly friends over tea about how and his brothers were going to hell.

But then, he imagined being able to hold Adam's hand in public, to kiss him in front of their families. To come up behind him and wrap his hands around his waist and hold him like he had seen Dean do with Cas and Sam do with Gabriel.

He felt a spike of jealousy in his stomach and pushed it down. It wasn't like and Adam were in love like the others were. They were just... They just felt strongly for each other. Strong enough to take the risk and try to be together. For now.

His thoughts wandered to the fact that in two weeks, he'd be leaving to go back to college. He wouldn't be able to come back and visit for months and he didn't want to go that long without seeing Adam. Was it worth the pain of having to say goodbye indefinitely, having to keep that commitment going, for a relationship that may not last?

The image of Adam's smiling face popped into his mind, and Michael knew the answer.

* * *

Adam avoided his family for the rest of weekend, opting to only go downstairs for food and drink and when his mother forced him. He stayed in his room reading and texting Michael, who also seemed unwilling to face his own family. Adam suspected it was for a very similar reason to his.

He knew they all suspected them. They weren't idiots- even his parents had asked some probing questions. He briefly considered telling them, making a big announcement to both families, or maybe casually slipping it out over dinner, or maybe just grabbing Michael's hand and glaring at anyone who dared question them. But he knew he couldn't, and wouldn't, because it would just cause too much drama and bring all the attention of both families to them, which was something he didn't want.

_If only_, he thought, _things like this could be simple_.

* * *

The week flew by more quickly than Adam had expected and liked, and on the next Friday night he found himself standing in Michael's room staring at his suitcase.

"So," Adam said. "Only a week left, huh?"

Michael nodded, keeping his face blank.

"I'm going to miss you," Adam whispered. "I don't want this to end."

Michael wordlessly grabbed his hand and they spent a few minutes indulging in each other's company. The door was open, and somebody could walk past at any moment, but they didn't really care.

"It will only end if you want it to end," Michael admitted. "Because I don't think I'm going to be able to say goodbye to you like that."

Adam smiled. "You're such a girl," he laughed. "But I get it. I don't think I'm going to be able to say goodbye to you at all. Maybe I'll sneak into the back seat of the car while everyone's saying their goodbyes."

"I'm sure Lucifer would _love_ to have you in the car for the trip. The thought of you two fighting over the radio stations is terrifying."

Adam laughed and punched him in the arm and leaned in to press a quick kiss on his the corner of his mouth. "Come on, let's go grab some lunch. I think Sam's making Gabriel pancakes, so if we rush we could steal some. I'll help you pack later, okay?"

Michael shrugged, "You're the boss," and followed him out of the room.

* * *

The weekend passed quickly, and soon Adam was starting to feel anxious every minute he wasn't with his boyfriend. He was constantly distracted by thoughts of Michael meeting a nice, pretty girl his age next semester, forgetting about him, looking back on him as a stupid kid to keep him company while he was stuck at home over break, not caring about him-

There was a knock on Adam's door and he groaned loudly. It was Monday, and his parents were at work and so was Dean, so he supposed he should be doing something productive. However, he didn't want to, he wanted to see Michael, but he'd seen Michael just last night and didn't want to cause any more suspicions.

"Open the door, Adam," Sam's voice came through, amused. He'd obviously heard Adam's groan. When Adam didn't move, he opened the door himself and sent his half-brother one of his infamous bitchfaces.

"Go away," Adam said. "I was enjoying my own company."

"No. I'm here to deliver a message from my annoying-ass boyfriend."

"He couldn't do it himself?"

"He decided he was too lazy. Hence, my use of annoy-ass."

Adam snorted and waved a hand at Sam. "Fine, go on. What does he have to tell me so badly?"

Sam smiled. "He said that Lucifer is out today with some girl, Anna and Cas are catching a couple of movies then going shopping for some new stuff for their dorm rooms, and he and I are going to be out all day. He wants you to know that Michael's probably going to be all alone in that large, empty house and will want some company." The tall man ended it was a pair of raised eyebrows and smirk that meant 'if you know what he means'. "I'm off now, so... Uh, have a nice day."

Adam watched him retreat and called out, "Tell Gabriel to go fuck himself!" at his back.

Ten minutes after he heard the front door close and Sam's car drive off, he rolled out of bed and sighed. "Fuck it."

* * *

He was knocking on the door of Michael's bedroom within minutes.

Michael opened his bedroom door and was almost instantly attacked by Adam, who grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into a rough kiss.

"Adam? What-?" he asked when they finally pulled away from each other. "Somebody could-"

"We've got the house to ourselves. All your relatives are out. This could be the last chance we have to spend alone time together before you leave." He pulled Michael in for another kiss and whispered, "Please, Michael. I want you."

The older man froze. "Do you mean...?"

Adam nodded and pushed him back into the room, closing the door behind him. "I mean, I _need _you, Michael." He was breathing heavily and his eyes were almost sad. "I'm not going to see you for an entire semester and I just... I just want this. Please."

Michael looked conflicted. "I... Okay."

"Really?"

"Yes," he pulled Adam close and kissed his neck. "I want this too."

He gently guided Adam to his bed, where he straddled the blonde and leaned in for another kiss. He moaned as Adam opened his mouth and deepened it, his fingers threading through the boy's hair.

Later, as they were lying in Michael's bed, panting and spent from their activities, Adam pressed his face into his boyfriend's neck and whispered so quietly Michael wasn't quite sure he heard it, "I really like you. A lot."

The dark haired man smiled to himself. "I really like you, too. A lot."

Michael and Lucifer were set to head off on Saturday. Sam and Gabriel opted to leave on Sunday, as Sam wanted an extra day just with his family, and Cas and Anna were going to head out Sunday evening.

* * *

On Friday night there was a large family dinner like the one at the beginning of break, and Adam was placed between Lucifer and Michael, who had had an argument that morning and were still not talking. He actually tried to pay attention to what everyone else was saying- except when his parents, Chuck and Betty got into a discussion about what _he_ was going to do in a year's time, when he decided that it would be best to zone out. Occasionally throughout the dinner, Michael's hand would fine its way to his knee, and he couldn't help but send small smiles and glances at the dark haired man. He was sure somebody would notice, but ever since Monday night he hadn't been able to take his mind off him for a second. He savoured what could be the last bit of physical contact he had with him for months.

"Adam," Anna's soft voice called from the other side of the table. Everyone's eyes turned to him. "Are you okay?"

Adam looked up from his plate and forced a smile. "I'm fine," he promised. "I was just thinking."

"You looked very sad," Castiel said. "Is Michael's pending departure troubling you?"

Michael, who happened to be taking a drink as Cas was speaking, choked and spluttered. Adam's face tinged pink and his eyes went wide.

"No! I mean, yes. But all of you. It gets boring around here without you guys. Not just Michael."

Castiel nodded. "I promise Anna and I will be visiting more often this semester."

Adam's smile turned genuine. "Awesome." Despite his lack of people skills, Cas was still pretty cool.

"What about me?" Dean asked, somewhat offended. "Aren't I interesting enough company for you?"

The blonde rolled his eyes. "You'd be interesting company if you weren't either texting Cas or moping about not seeing him every minute he's gone."

Gabriel chuckled at Dean's indignant face. "The point is," the short man said. "Is that you've obviously become closer with Michael than you are with the rest of us. _Really _close, isn't that right, Mickey?" He sent him an exaggerated wink.

Michael glared at his brother while Lucifer chuckled. "Gabriel, why is our friendship so interesting to you?"

Gabriel was grinning. "I'm just curious as to why."

"Maybe you should just _stop talking_," Adam snapped, not being able to stand it. "Can _all of you_ just _stop_?"

"Why," Lucifer asked. "Got something to hide?"

Adam stood up suddenly and they all stared at him. "Fuck off," he said quietly and stormed out of the Milton's house.

Hearing the door slam, John and Kate popped their heads out of the kitchen. "Where did Adam go?" Kate asked, frowning at them. "What happened?"

Gabriel, looking a little ashamed, shrugged. "We said something that upset him."

"Yes," Michael said sharply. "You did. Something inappropriate, and disrespectful." He stood up and took a deep breath to calm himself. Nobody spoke for a few moments, and Kate and John, though worried, went back into the kitchen. His siblings and friends stared as Michael closed his eyes. They didn't want to provoke him more- he was scary when he got too angry. "I'm going to go check on him," he said eventually.

"Make sure your little boyfriend isn't crying like a preteen girl?" Lucifer asked mockingly. Michael turned on him and slammed his fist into the table, knocking over a glass and causing his twin to jump.

"_Don't,_" he gritted out through clenched teeth. "Just don't."

After dinner, Anna, Gabriel and Sam sat in silence around the kitchen table. For several minutes, they stared at their hands, and even Gabriel, who could barely keep his mouth shut normally, didn't speak. They all felt guilty about giving Adam and Michael a hard time, and were beginning to wonder if their theory was wrong after all.

"Maybe they are just friends," Anna suggested. "I mean... They seemed pretty angry."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Should we apologise?"

"You don't have to," Gabriel said, looking and Sam fondly. "I know you're into being nice to people, but you didn't actually do anything. I did. Lucifer, mainly, but I don't think he's going to bother apologising any time soon, so I should."

"God," Anna groaned. "We are such douchebags."

* * *

Michael and Adam curled together and Adam's bed and held each other. They didn't speak, and didn't want to. They were over what happened at dinner, but tomorrow was on the forefront of their minds- Michael was leaving. Michael was leaving and they wouldn't see each other for far too long a time. Hell, in Adam's mind, a week was far too long.

"I'm gonna miss you," Michael murmured. "I'll come back to visit whenever I can."

"I'll miss you, too. I'll call you and text you and email you all the time, right?"

"Every day?"

Adam snorted. "Sure, whatever you want."

Michael gave him a quick kiss. "Good."

The sound of the front door closing echoed up through the house and Michael groaned. "I have to leave, don't I?"

"Afraid so," Adam said reluctantly. He rolled off the bed ungracefully and grinned at his boyfriend, who was burying his face into his pillow. "Get up, dude. My mum's going to be up here to check on me any second."

"Fine. Can I have one of your shirts?"

The blonde blinked at Michael as the older man stood up from his bed. "What?"

"One of your shirts, to take with me? One that smells like you. I'll let you have this one." Michael raised his arms as though to show off grey t-shirt he was wearing that had a random quote from a book across the front. Realisation dawned on Adam and he grinned, stripping off his shirt and as Michael did the same.

After they'd swapped shirts, Michael wrapped his arms around Adam's waist and pulled him into a heated kiss. "I'll see you in the morning for the big send off, huh?" he whispered against the blonde's lips.

"I wish you didn't have to go."

"I wish I didn't have to go, too."

* * *

Michael put his suitcase in the trunk of his car and watched Lucifer climb in without so much as a goodbye to any of his relatives, except Sam and Gabriel, whom he tolerated.

Gabriel, Sam, Anna, Castiel, Dean and Adam were there to see them off. Chuck and Becky had already said goodbye to their boys in private because Becky had the habit of crying whenever she had to see one of her own leave.

His siblings and friends stood in a line on the driveway as Michael closed the trunk and faced them with a small smile.

He went through the line and said individual goodbyes that had Lucifer rolling his eyes in impatience in the car. Gabriel pulled him into a bear-hug, and promised him he'd visit at the most inconvenient times possible. Sam watched on laughing, and gave Michael a firm handshake. Anna gave her older brother a tight hug, and whispered her own goodbye in his ear. Castiel and Dean both shook his hand and Dean slapped him on the back, wishing him good luck with the next semester.

Finally, he reached Adam and they looked at each other for a few moments, aware of the others' eyes on them, before exchanging a slightly too-long hug. Michael whispered in Adam's ear, "_I'm going to miss you so much, Adam Milligan," _before pulling away and slapping him on the back. Everyone watched as he slowly made his way to the car, but instead of pulling open his door , Michael froze and looked torn. Lucifer told him to get his arse in the car so they could get on their way, but Michael only looked over his shoulder at Adam, who raised an eyebrow.

"Dude?" Dean asked. "What's up?"

Michael sighed in what seemed like defeat, and in a few long strides, he was standing in front of Adam again. He placed his hands on the younger boy's waist and rested his face in the crook of his neck. "Sorry," he murmured before bringing his lips to Adam's own, in front of all their siblings. Adam was frozen in shock for approximately a second before he reached up to thread his fingers through Michael's dark hair and returned the kiss eagerly. He didn't care that everyone was watching, and that their secret was out- he cared that this was his last kiss in months and he wanted to make the most of it.

He moaned as Michael ran his tongue against his lips, and opened his mouth to give him access. They kissed for what seemed like an hour but was probably only a minute before they came to their senses and pulled away from each other, sharing silly grins.

"What was that?" Adam panted, breathless.

"I couldn't resist," Michael admitted, sheepish. "I..." he met Adam's eyes and tried to communicate his feelings without actually saying them.

"I know," Adam smiled. "Bye, Michael."

"Goodbye, Adam." Michael brought Adam's hand up to press his lips against it, looking up at his boyfriend through his eyelashes, before walking back towards the car and driving away.


	3. Chapter 3

**September:**

Adam,

Classes are hell. Remind me why I decided to become a lawyer again? I've barely been back a week and already I'm regretting this decision. The workload is downright evil.  
I know I said this when you called, but I miss you. We've only had that one conversation and I miss you. I miss holding you and kissing you and I miss you. I don't have much time to make this email long and heartfelt and romantic, but it's the weekend tomorrow and I'll make sure to make time between homework and assignments to call you and we can catch up properly then. For now, let it suffice to say, **I miss you**.

Michael

* * *

Michael,

I miss you, too. I miss you so much that it's ridiculous.

However- you, sir, have some serious explaining to do. In our phone call, you avoided this. In that email, you avoided this. Not that I'm complaining, but... **What the actual fuck were you thinking leaving me all alone to explain to everyone what the hell it meant when you kissed me? And don't say Lucifer is just as bad as all of them, 'cause I had to bribe Gabriel with RIDICULOUS amounts of chocolate to make sure he didn't tell our parents.**

Seriously. As soon as you left, I was ambushed. It was AWKWARD, explaining to them that yes, we're in a relationship, and yes, we have been for weeks, and then there were Gabriel and Anna's question about our sex life and I had to deal with them ALONE. Those two are evil.

They're gone now, of course, but they were awful. I had to hide out in my room until they'd all gone. Gabe especially. Except Dean's been killing me, seeing as he's the only one left. He wanted to call you up and give you the big brother speech but I recruited Sam to stop him (though even Sam had his worries). Now Sam's gone and every time our parents are out of the room he teases me and makes jokes about older men and it's horrible. I think I hate him.  
The only person who seems not to want to make a big deal about it is Castiel. He asked me if we were happy, and I said yes, and he smiled, put his hand on my shoulder, and walked away. I am eternally grateful, I tell you.

By the way, that reminds me- apparently you haven't been answering their calls? I know you're busy, but they're your family, so I think you should.

Talk soon,  
Adam.

* * *

Adam,

Sorry? Yes, I know I said that in the call, but I feel it needs repeating. Yes, yes, I'm a horrible person, and like you said last night- I should have at least given you warning, but... I couldn't think of anything except the amount of time I wouldn't see you.

I miss you. You're going to here that a lot this semester. I miss you. So much. But I'll see you at Christmas, okay? It's not too far away. Just a few months. I'll call you more often now, I think despite Lucifer going on and on about how annoying it is hearing me get all emotional.

With great affection,  
Michael.

* * *

Michael,

Good. How do you feel about phone sex?

Also with affection and such,  
Adam.

* * *

Adam,

I have decided, after our last talk, that I feel very, very well about phone sex. Your voice is very sexy, when you're... well...  
Unfortunately, it's as though Lucifer can read minds- he's stopped going out, especially when he knows I'm going to be talking to you. I know for a fact he'd rather be picking up random men and girls in bars, but he probably feels a sense of duty, being my brother and twin, to make my life hell. Do you suppose he's finally found a suitable way to get revenge for that time we were sixteen and I told our parents he was with a girl when he was supposed to be at a "study group"? You didn't know us back then, but the resulting sulk was legendary.

So, yes... I doubt we can have another phone call like that one.

By the way, I'll call you tomorrow to say happy birthday. I have a gift I've sent down. Also, how does it feel to be an adult? It makes our situation slightly less scandalous.

I'm running out of original ways to say this,  
Michael.

* * *

**October:**

Michael,

What do you say we both drop out of school, run away and backpack around the world for the rest of our lives? Because damn, I hate school. Seeing as I spent all Summer with people older than me, I think everyone just seems like idiots these days. My friends are alright, but keep trying to set me up with my friend Jen, who apparently has a huge crush on me, and I can't find enough good excuses that don't make me sound like a douchebag. "I'm dating the twenty-two year old brother of the boyfriends of my half-brothers" isn't exactly something easy to explain.  
Anyway, I'm thinking of just telling them I met a girl over Summer. I'd say I met a guy, but they'd get up me for not telling them I'm into dudes (which, I'm not really, it's mainly just you... be flattered). I'll tell them eventually, though. It's not like I'm ashamed of you, or anything. In fact, I'd love to show you off. You're one hot piece of ass, dude.

With dramatic declarations of affection romantic people like you seem to love,  
Adam.

* * *

Adam,

If your parents wouldn't kill me for running off with you, I would seriously consider your suggestion. I know how you feel about people in high school- that's how I felt when I was there, too. College will be easier, trust me. Still the same amount of idiots, but they're easier to avoid.  
Your friends seem pushy. I'm assuming you've used the obvious, "I just don't want to be in a relationship" line, and I'm assuming they've used, "there's no harm in giving her a chance," because my own friends used that on me when they decided I was a 'prude' at eighteen. I say you just go on a date with her- it would get your friends off your back, and I honestly wouldn't mind as long as you didn't kiss her. I may be the jealous type, but I do trust you, Adam. I'm not saying I like it, but if it makes life easier for you, go for it.

And yes, I am quite attractive. So are you; if I could, I would show you off...

With all my heart,  
Michael.

* * *

Michael,

If we ran away and changed our names, not even Sam and his awesome research skills could find us. We could live rich, exotic lives. It could be fun. However, you're right. The thought of my mom's wrath is just too terrifying to take the chance. I suppose we'll just have to live these boring lives.

Maybe we could travel one day? Who knows...

Also, I told you the other night on the phone I'd tell you how the date went... Awkward, that's how it went. She really did have I crush on me, because she was way too overly touchy for a first date and kept trying to make out with me during the movie. It was distracting- I was really looking forward to seeing it. Then we went to dinner, she talked non-stop about herself- Jen's a nice girl, and a friend, but apparently a really shit date- then she insisted I walk her to her door at the end of the night. Something about being a gentlemen. I felt bad; I was thinking the entire time about how I wish it was you. She looked like she was gonna kiss me, but stopped at the last minute. It's obvious, she said, that I have feelings for someone else. I felt even worse, but she just kissed me on the cheek and wished me good luck with whoever it was.

I was pretty damn relieved. Now our friends are off my back, and I can focus on school and missing you in piece. I was to get into medicine, like I said, so I've got to work hard.

Miss you,  
Adam.

* * *

Adam,

I feel sorry for this Jen girl, but I can't help but feel relieved. The thought of you with a girl makes me irrationally jealous, and I hate these sorts of emotions. In fact, the effect you have on me is shocking. I hate to say this through email, but... I suppose it's best I get this out before I lose my courage: I've never felt as strongly for any of my relationships as I have for you. How do you do this to me, Adam Milligan?

I miss you terribly,  
Michael.

* * *

Michael,

Castiel and Anna visited this weekend. They mentioned they haven't talked to you in a few weeks, so I suppose I should tell you that your little sister has a boyfriend. I don't know his name, but he sounds douchey. I get the feeling Cas doesn't approve- especially seeing as those two share a dorm room. Poor guy. Though, it's hard to feel too much sympathy when I can hear he and Dean going at it in the next room as I speak. For God's sake, they're freaking rabbits. I think I need bleach. My speakers are just too shit to get my music loud enough to do the trick.

If only you were here and we could retaliate, because damn, it's hard not having your boyfriend around for nearly two months. I'm still a teenager- I have needs. Damn age gaps. Damn school.

Over Christmas break, I say we just don't leave my bedroom.

Sexually frustrated and highly affectionate,  
Adam.

* * *

**November:**

Hello puny mortal (my brother's boyfriend and our young neighbour),

As you can probably already tell, this is Lucifer. I hacked into Michael's email – he's studying in the library right now- to let you know how annoying you have made him in the last two months. If he's not sulking, he's studying his ass off, and hasn't even once been out to get drunk with me since we got here. Two months, Adam, and he has barely had a couple of beers. He needs a break.

So, tonight I'm going to stop my (admittedly purposeful) cock-blocking and I'm going to be out all night. Call him up, have phone-sex, then convince him to get his ass to the bar I'm going to be at and I'll get him drunk. He's been wound WAY too tight, and while I can't get him laid, I'm leaving it up to you to make sure he's wound less tight when he shows up- and yes, he will, because I'm pretty sure you can ask him to join the circus with you and he would.

(insert obligatory polite questions about school and life and family here)

-Lucifer.

* * *

Lucifer,

I'm hoping you're still on Michael's account, seeing as you sent that email fifteen minutes ago.

Good plan. Thanks for that. (I'm going to regret saying this, but...) I owe you one.

I'll try to make sure he's out by nine.

Adam.

* * *

Adam,

I just found the emails between you and Lucifer in my deleted box. Normally, I'd be upset that you conspired behind my back, but I must admit, I needed it that night. And phone-sex is admittedly pretty awesome. So I'll forgive you, though the thought of you two against me again is terrifying (so I changed my email password to something less obvious) (I'm actually pretty bad at that).

So, it's a little over a month until Christmas, and then we'll have two weeks together. I'm counting down the days. I miss you so, so much, Adam. One Summer with you and suddenly it feels wrong being apart. Am I being sappy? I know you roll your eyes at things like they, but they're true, I swear. Not only are you my boyfriend, but you're also my friend. I miss watching movies with you in your lounge room or sitting around with our siblings watching TV shows.

Lord, I'm sounding more sentimental than Anna can be.

Yours,  
Michael.

* * *

Michael,

I'd apologise about the Lucifer thing... if I were sorry. Sorry for not being sorry? I know you- I know you secretly don't mind. Plus, those emails are proof that Lucifer cares about you. You told me yourself that sometimes you think he acts emotionless. He acts that way, but he's not.

Also, but your password- let me guess: **michael123**?

I honestly can't wait until Christmas. I think maybe I can get into it this year- decorations and tacky sweaters and all. Hell, if you were there, I'd even go carolling. I miss you bad, dude. This is getting ridiculous. I feel like a girl with the way I grin every time I hear your name- I'm almost certain my mom's figured it out by now, and probably yours too. They're probably gossiping about it every time they see each other, knowing you, and considering that Gabriel and Sam, and Dean and Cas are old news. If they do know, they haven't told our dads. Well... No offense, Chuck doesn't seem too scary and he probably wouldn't even mind too much, but my dad would be pissed if he found out and he'd have your balls for car ornaments. And I'd be grounded for like, a year, eighteen or not.

Missing you like a preteen girl,  
Adam.

* * *

Adam,

I can't believe my password was that obvious. Then again, I have always been like give Castiel when it comes to technology... That is, bad.

It's just over three weeks, and we'll see each other again. I'm looking forward to it like you couldn't believe. I feel like I've been buried with all this studying, all these assignments... If I have to write another essay, I may just give up and take you up on that offer the other month about running away. I think I could manage a scolding from your mother with minimal terror.

Though your father does know his was around a gun, and I like my balls where they are.

I'll see you soon,  
Michael.

* * *

**December:**

Michael,

Two weeks, right? December 15?

I miss you,  
Adam.

* * *

Adam,

Yes, the fifteenth. I'll see you in thirteen days.

I can't wait.

Counting the days,  
Michael.

* * *

Michael,

I've bought your gift. It's not much, but I hope you'll like it.  
I'm so fucking excited about you being here. Ten days.

Freaking out,  
Adam.

* * *

Michael,

I miss you so fucking bad. Dean would be laughing at me for how obviously excited I am, if I didn't know for a fact he gets the exact same way every time he sees Castiel. You Milton boys sure do have an effect on us Winchesters. Or maybe it's the other way around?

With much excitement,  
Adam.

* * *

Adam,

I probably won't be able to call you, so we won't be able to talk until I get there, so this is my last email before the fifteenth (three days!). Just letting you know Lucifer's coming, even though he doesn't want to and hates Christmas (mom threatened him) and we'll be there around three in the afternoon, if he doesn't make us stop for a hundred breaks like on the way up.

I have your shirt with me right now. I try only to get it out when I really miss you... I'm sentimental and weird like that; I want it to keep smelling like you as soon as possible. I think I may have to steal one of your blankets or pillows or something before I leave to come back... Obviously, none of it's as good as the real you, but smelling you comforting anyway.

Love,  
Michael.

* * *

Michael,

I am freaking. So. Much.

I can't wait. I think I'm actually going insane.

See you then.

Love,  
Adam.


End file.
